31.) May the rocks in your field turn to gold. When I let them, I loose them. Anonymous, To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Fuc-King! And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting! Samuel Johnson, I love to sing and I love to drink 3.) 2) Heres a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast. My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. The classic with me and my friends is "Cheers to beers thank god we ain't queers." Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain. I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.Miguel de Cervantes, 76.) We couldnt have done it without you.. And to all the governments out there, remember: you may think youre in charge, but youre just pawns in the grand scheme of things. And raising a glass. But that is why we like um! But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. Toasting is a rare opportunity to establish or strengthen your rapport with people in a social group. However, I assure you that this page still has the best funny drinking toasts for friends youll find. The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present., #8. We drink to your coffin. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. 22. For sure one of the best college drinking toasts youll ever come across. Hopefully, you wont be too drunk to remember these drinking toasts when it matters. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Youre on the funny Toasts for Drinking page. Surrounded by good friends However, if everyone at the table cheers with water, there is no issue. There is no drinking after death. Editor/Publisher of Modern Drunkard Magazine. And if you drink, may you drink with me. _____ On the heart of each sister . It can also be seen as not fully participating in the toast and the communal drinking experience. Heres to staying positive and testing negative! Drink, for you know not why you go nor whence. We cradle all our sorrows to sleep. May God bless old Ireland, that's this . To the three things necessary to the happiness of a Scotchman First, the sneeshin (snuff), second the whiskey, third, more whiskey. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. If you are celebrating your second wedding, this quote might be the right one. 84.) Lord Byron, Heres to the bullets May you. Best while you have it, use your breath 25.) May you live to be as old as your jokes. Nor suffer the bottle to blind reason's eyes. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. 15+ The Simpsons Trivia Questions & Facts Only Real Fans Know. There they are. Why Do Actors Think All Birds Say Ka Kaw? To nipples without them, titties wouldnt have a point!, 21. 83.) Attention, all you wonderful humans! 10. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. 24.) So lets get wasted all of the time, and have the time of our life. W.C. Pour me some [1934 Anecdota Americana Second Series] May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.Hunter S. Thompson, 69.) He who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow,Lives as he ought to,And leaves an honest fellow. When I like them, I kiss them. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). ; A (unique?) But wheres the fun in that? God damn them! Anonymous, Heres to those who wish us well Here's to the ones we love dearest and most. Honor to the brave May you continue to thrive under pressure and always find a way to get things done, no matter how chaotic it may seem., Heres to the unicorns, the mythical creatures that grace us with their presence once in a blue moon. But enough about me, heres to you. Henry Sambrooke Leigh, Drink, for you know not when you came nor why And our ale never turn musty. 49.) No retreat no surrender. (Mark Twain). Who keeps his word and does not hedge One cant deny that Homer Simpson is for sure a clever guy. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Always a good one to bring up as a wedding toast. ", "Here's to you and here's to me The best of friends we'll ever be. Drinking Toasts Thread starter amxguy1970; Start date Apr 22, 2009; Apr 22, 2009 #1 A. amxguy1970 New Member. Land without rent to you. Here are some examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of what toasting should be like in formal occasions. A cold pint and another one. Getting honor, keeping honor and if you can come in her, come on her (honor). It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Here are some hilarious and lighthearted drinking toasts you can make when youre out drinking with your friends. 12. Time is a waste of life. Whether youre celebrating a special occasion or just having a few drinks with friends, these toasts can help make the experience more enjoyable. Here's to those who sit when they pee. 13.) [Retrieved from http://www.tamut.com/toasts/ on 15 August 2003], Here's a toast to the Man I love, he is rich monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). Another famous toast you can use at your best friends bachelor party. 14.) Anonymous, Heres to a long life and a merry one If you cheat, may you cheat death. Theres many a toast Id like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, Ill drink it., 14. Not as sweet as a womans lips So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life., #6. Everything We Know About Annabelle Wallis Nose Job, A Complete Guide to the Teacup Pomeranian, Flemish Giant Rabbits: Facts You Ought to Know. Screw like its being filmed 45.) Ive always wanted to create a space where I can express my creativity and explore various topics that interest me. You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow May all your ups and downs be under the covers! When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. (Hunter S. Thompson). Heres to your liver!May it live as long as you last. 15. Four I'm under the host!" "When we drink, we get drunk. 10 Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Haven't Heard. 38.) I am strong May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May you continue to bring chaos and hilarity wherever you go., Heres to the procrastinators, the ones who always leave things until the last minute. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. 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Like we alcoholics. Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. May we live to learn wellAnd learn to live well. We love 'em in lace. Here is to love that never grows old, and if it does, lets hope by that time were too old to leave each other and start new marriages., #17. The best wedding toasts for raising a glass to the new couple. 128 Views. Heartbreak makes you wiser. May you be blessed with many wonderful years. It is customary to take a sip of your drink when someone toasts you. ", "Another day another bender. I drank to your health in company. May you always trust your gut., Heres to the aliens, those mysterious beings who control everything from behind the scenes. And if we ever disagree, Well, fuck you and here's to me. 26.) Notice that many countries say it the same way. If you must cheat, cheat death. For a good reason! And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand. To every lovable girl in the land,I offer this little libation.For if ever they all left the country at once,Wed be left in a state of stagnation. Heres to the girls of the American shore, I love but one, I love no more; Since shes not here to drink her part, Ill drink her drink with all my heart., 12. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Anonymous, Let us drink with impunity Four and twenty highballs All Rights Reserved. Everyone has a Star Wars soulmate! Some ships are wooden ships. May we always be kind If people drink without pronouncing toasts or if they repeat some silly one-liner, it is the last stage of alcoholism. Whether you want to say a little more than 'Happy birthday' or you're celebrating an anniversary, bringing up your favorite toast is always appreciated. A funny toast is ideal to cap off a hilarious best man speech or set the tone for the evening if you're speaking first as father of the bride. Another theory suggests that cheering originated to ward off evil spirits before consuming. Drinking makes happy Tears make you braver. Heres to the glass we love so to sip,It dries many a pensive tear;Tis not so sweet as a womans lipBut a damned sight more sincere. May you meet drop-dead gorgeous women when they are horniest. 1) Heres one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw. Heres to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you dont do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again! George Bernard Shaw, Drink today and drown all sorrow Heres to that long straight piece in Tetris. ", "Here's to a long life and a happy one. May your bank account always be like the capital of Ireland always Dublin. AG. Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. Some people like to start with a quote or funny saying. Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! Heres to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.F. #13. To four in the morning! Than a bushel of roses white and red 7. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. 40. And real pain to our sham friends. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom.. May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says:This drinks on me.. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. Heres to lobster tail and beer. Groucho Marx knew how to praise the glasses of life. 2. 53.) Heres to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. If you cheat, may you cheat death, If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart, If you fight, may you fight for a brother, And if you drink, may you drink with me. Please read this section until the end because the best dirty toast is at the end.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',601,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Do you like these somewhat dirty toasts youve just read? To Honor! Now that youre old enough to be a father, I have only one thing to say to you: Live long enough to be a problem to your children., #10. May we be who our dogs think we are. But most people like to hear me drink. In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. Willard Scott, May the devil take our enemies tongues Cheers in Spanish is Salud, cheers in Italian is Salute, and in Portugal it's Saude. Home | May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you. Thatll marry our wives Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. And if you drink, may you drink with me. If you go before me So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life., 2. George Burns, Heres to doing and drinking, ", "Here's to that long straight piece in Tetris. Tolkien, 81.) -No matter how beautiful, smart, and full of class. 17.) ". After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. 22.) While he is picking apples in the garden of Hell. And mine is the last voice you hear. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.Frank Sinatra, 64.) Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God?Mark Twain, More famous toasts in history and literature, 71.) ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. 20. To those who have seen us at our best and at our worst, and still cant tell the difference., #21. -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. The 26 Drinking Toasts that everyone will enjoy. But almost all of them are the perfect toasts for shots. Heres to the girls who doAnd heres to the girls who dontAnd heres to the girls who say they never will,But when the time comes, wont.But heres to the girls most of all,Who say they never will:I cant. And damn your souls, Ill drink it. Read more 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines . May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. Sermons and soda-water These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Generally, there is no right or wrong hand to toast with However, in some cultures, it is considered polite to use your dominant hand. 35.) One cant deny that English folks are hyped by their breakfast. The weird turn pro. a company that you keep. Id like to say a little prayer for world peace. -Phil Connors. You raise your glass to drink in honor or appreciation of what the toastmaker narrates. | What's New | Here are some funny drinking toasts to make birthdays more special and induce gales of laughter. May you get a talking parrot who will keep all your secrets and provide an alibi. MDM, Success to the lover Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. 40 Beautiful Irish Blessings for Every Occasion. 29. Throw hand grenades. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker., 11. But never about our thirst. Im sure your friends and relatives will love all of them, so please pick a few, bookmark this page, and keep coming back.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); This section has all kinds of totally awesome hilarious toasts. I dont! but just for you, I will.. MDM, Our enemies never drink Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. May the bloom of the faceNever extend to the nose. Pain makes you stronger.Tears make you braver.Heartbreak makes you wiser.And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. Heres to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won.Heres to Americas colors, the colors that never run.May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.Jack Burton (movie king of drinking toasts). Toasting is a social convention that takes place in both formal and informal social groups.

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